The coding humor thread.

[Thorham]

Post your coding humor pics here

[drHirudo]

Originally Posted by Thorham

Post your coding humor pics here

She asked:
-Do you code in assembler?
-NOP!

[Parsec]

Originally Posted by Thorham

Post your coding humor pics here

Ha ha, I laughed out loud at that one.

Don't know if this is quite right for this thread but I like this piece of code which is a basic flight simulator:

#include                                     <math.h>
#include                                   <sys/time.h>
#include                                   <X11/Xlib.h>
#include                                  <X11/keysym.h>
                                          double L ,o ,P
                                         ,_=dt,T,Z,D=1,d,
                                         s[999],E,h= 8,I,
                                         J,K,w[999],M,m,O
                                        ,n[999],j=33e-3,i=
                                        1E3,r,t, u,v ,W,S=
                                        74.5,l=221,X=7.26,
                                        a,B,A=32.2,c, F,H;
                                        int N,q, C, y,p,U;
                                       Window z; char f[52]
                                    ; GC k; main(){ Display*e=
 XOpenDisplay( 0); z=RootWindow(e,0); for (XSetForeground(e,k=XCreateGC (e,z,0,0),BlackPixel(e,0))
; scanf("%lf%lf%lf",y +n,w+y, y+s)+1; y ++); XSelectInput(e,z= XCreateSimpleWindow(e,z,0,0,400,400,
0,0,WhitePixel(e,0) ),KeyPressMask); for(XMapWindow(e,z); ; T=sin(O)){ struct timeval G={ 0,dt*1e6}
; K= cos(j); N=1e4; M+= H*_; Z=D*K; F+=_*P; r=E*K; W=cos( O); m=K*W; H=K*T; O+=D*_*F/ K+d/K*E*_; B=
sin(j); a=B*T*D-E*W; XClearWindow(e,z); t=T*E+ D*B*W; j+=d*_*D-_*F*E; P=W*E*B-T*D; for (o+=(I=D*W+E
*T*B,E*d/K *B+v+B/K*F*D)*_; p<y; ){ T=p[s]+i; E=c-p[w]; D=n[p]-L; K=D*m-B*T-H*E; if(p [n]+w[ p]+p[s
]== 0|K <fabs(W=T*r-I*E +D*P) |fabs(D=t *D+Z *T-a *E)> K)N=1e4; else{ q=W/K *4E2+2e2; C= 2E2+4e2/ K
 *D; N-1E4&& XDrawLine(e ,z,k,N ,U,q,C); N=q; U=C; } ++p; } L+=_* (X*t +P*M+m*l); T=X*X+ l*l+M *M;
  XDrawString(e,z,k ,20,380,f,17); D=v/l*15; i+=(B *l-M*r -X*Z)*_; for(; XPending(e); u *=CS!=N){
                                   XEvent z; XNextEvent(e ,&z);
                                       ++*((N=XLookupKeysym
                                         (&z.xkey,0))-IT?
                                         N-LT? UP-N?& E:&
                                         J:& u: &h); --*(
                                         DN -N? N-DT ?N==
                                         RT?&u: & W:&h:&J
                                          ); } m=15*F/l;
                                          c+=(I=M/ l,l*H
                                          +I*M+a*X)*_; H
                                          =A*r+v*X-F*l+(
                                          E=.1+X*4.9/l,t
                                          =T*m/32-I*T/24
                                           )/S; K=F*M+(
                                           h* 1e4/l-(T+
                                           E*5*T*E)/3e2
                                           )/S-X*d-B*A;
                                           a=2.63 /l*d;
                                           X+=( d*l-T/S
                                            *(.19*E +a
                                            *.64+J/1e3
                                            )-M* v +A*
                                            Z)*_; l +=
                                            K *_; W=d;
                                            sprintf(f,
                                            "%5d  %3d"
                                            "%7d",p =l
                                           /1.7,(C=9E3+
                              O*57.3)%0550,(int)i); d+=T*(.45-14/l*
                             X-a*130-J* .14)*_/125e2+F*_*v; P=(T*(47
                             *I-m* 52+E*94 *D-t*.38+u*.21*E) /1e2+W*
                             179*v)/2312; select(p=0,0,0,0,&G); v-=(
                              W*F-T*(.63*m-I*.086+m*E*19-D*25-.11*u
                               )/107e2)*_; D=cos(o); E=sin(o); } }

[Loedown]

0001 LDA $41
0003 JSR $FFD2
0006 JMP $0001

I swear this thing only goes around in circles.

Paul

[Photon]

I measure code quality in knots. Your code should have a low number of knots for it to go fast.

For measuring tape, tie together a bunch of spaghettis. Naturally, the more pasta programming you've accomplished, the more knots needed to tie a long enough measuring tape, eh, spaghetti!

[Dizzy]

[Amiga1992]

Originally Posted by drHirudo

She asked:
-Do you code in assembler?
-NOP!

That was hilarious

[girv]

I really hate this damn machine,
I wish that I could sell it.
It never does quite what I want,
But only what I tell it.

[girv]

A C Man's Lament
----------------

The problem I find when I'm looking at lines
Of programs all written in C
Is that the syntax and grammar resemble the stammer
Of a dyslexic demoralized bee.

I'll bet any man here (I'll wager a beer)
Can't guess how to copy a string.
The mess is dramatic, all [
. & _ !

Pointers collected, and thrice indirected,
Collated in structs and compiled,
When traced by debugger can make coders shudder,
And conditionals drive a man wild.

I don't wish to seem bitchy, but if only old Ritchie
Had been strangled a birth by a Nurse;
And the fate that I've planned for all Kernighan's clan
Is unprintably several times worse.

I find that the pain begins with the main(),
The only way out is to hack it.
The one bit of syntax that keeps my mind intact
Is the very last }

I hope that this ode is clearer that code
I write in that monstrosity.
You might think that Pascal's a bit of a rascal,
But the ultimate b*d is C.

My program is calling (in structure appalling),
I must finish my poetic plea.
But, let's all face it, use Forth, LISP or BASIC,
Whatever you do, don't use C.

Translator's guide to pronunciation:
[ = open square bracket
. = dot
& = ampersand
_ = underscore
! = pling
} = close curly bracket
* = star

[Photon]

Hehehe What a lovely ode girv! You wrote this? Ace!

[girv]

No! I didn't write it at all - I first read it in an old computer magazine back in the 1980s!

[frost242]

Is Dave Small the author of this text ?

[girv]

I think it was Rupert Goodwin:
http://community.zdnet.co.uk/blog/0,...331777b,00.htm

(read the "Thursday" entry)

It was in the back of a "Home Computer Course" magazine. I have scans of those (I think) so I'll see if I can find the original.

[Herpes]

Originally Posted by girv

[code]A C Man's Lament...

That was great

Here is my go (probably you know it already) ...

[TCD]

[musashi5150]

Not strictly programming... but just pretend

[Dizzy]

http://www.c-jump.com/

[Loedown]

Originally Posted by musashi5150

Not strictly programming... but just pretend

For the first comic, I'd love that to be printed and shoved under the nose of every boss in every company, so that they finally understand what motivates people to work.

Paul

[Shoonay]

From here

> There is an entire development methodology (whose name escapes me at the
> moment) that makes use of that very phenomenon.

We called it the Rubber Duck method of debugging. It goes like this:

1) Beg, borrow, steal, buy, fabricate or otherwise obtain a rubber duck
(bathtub variety)
2) Place rubber duck on desk and inform it you are just going to go over
some code with it, if that's all right.
3) Explain to the duck what you code is supposed to do, and then go into
detail and explain things line by line
4) At some point you will tell the duck what you are doing next and then
realise that that is not in fact what you are actually doing. The duck
will sit there serenely, happy in the knowledge that it has helped you
on your way.

Works every time. Actually, if you don't have a rubber duck you could at
a pinch ask a fellow programmer or engineer to sit in.

Andy

[Herpes]

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