Arsewipe, Harkers, Venos

RiotRetroGaming · 19 November 2021, 17:59

Hi,

Has anybody seen these three audio PD demos?
My Dad had these on a single floppy disk that loaded and you press either 1, 2 or 3 to select which one you wanted.

He may still have it somewhere, but it's an ask for him these days.
If I get it I will share it.

1 - Arsewipe
2 - Harkers
3 - Venos

I think I can recite all of them!!

1 - Arsewipe:

Ever had diarrohea so bad, that what you thought was a fart wound up as a new pair of trousers? *fart sound* or ever had bog paper so thin your hand went straight through *rustle sound* and guy says "ahhh sh!t"...
WELL NOW THERE'S AN ANSWER, new super-absorbency Arsewipe - Arsewipe is a deep textured three-ply tissue that soaks up that runny diarrohea and gets round to the tiniest particle of clinka...
And Arsewipe's coating of soothing bum cream massages anal muscles that have been stretched to the limit *guy is screaming* by a bog rocking turd the size of a submarine *BAAAANGGGGG water sound* - so if you're full of sh!t, Arsewipe is here to wipe your cares away, and remember, next to Arsewipe everything is crap!!

2 - Harkers:

Heeeeyy! hurry down to Harker's halfway house sale - everything's slashed in half... groceries, electrical goods, fashion, men's wear - so if you want half of anything - a sock, a shoe, a trouser, a pant, a one and a half peace suite, then come down early tomorrow half past nine!

3 - Venos:

*Man coughing and wheezing* then *looped sound sample* A-COUGH, A-COUGH, A-COUGH, A-COUGH (made to sound like a constant f-off!!) A-COUGH mixture, it's got to be Venos, to sooth away that tickley cough *sample fades back in for a few seconds and finishes*

An amazing play on words these and are really, really funny!!!!

Correct me if I got anything wrong, that was in-grained from memory since I was 11, now 40 hahaha, yes we played it that much

I'll be so chuffed if somebody has this!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ant

Pyromania · 19 November 2021, 18:17

What are you on about?

alkis21 · 19 November 2021, 19:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pyromania

What are you on about?

The last word can be omitted.

Galahad/FLT · 19 November 2021, 19:42

Reminds me of Ooh its obscene by Anarchy I think, where they rang up people with prank phone calls and recorded the result, one of my first experiences of the demo scene

Superman · 19 November 2021, 20:45

Arsewipe

[ Show youtube player ]

stevsurv · 20 November 2021, 10:01

hitm4n · 22 November 2021, 20:42

I had the arsewipe intro on some demo disk, don't recall the other two though. I definately found arsewipe once while trawling through tosec disks, so its findable.
I always remembered it as "a bog blocking turd the size of a submarine", and the audio was really quiet as i recall...

Superman · 22 November 2021, 23:16

I do have and ADF of Arsewipe for what its worth.

Check the attachment

Mad-Matt · 23 November 2021, 11:44

I'm not sure if its the same Arsewipe but I had a version as part of a Gorezone disk (Gorezone IV?) . I cant seem to find it in any collection atm.

Pyromania · 23 November 2021, 19:40

Is Arsewipe the sequel to $HitH@ppens?

ElectroBlaster · 29 November 2021, 22:35

I have a few adf's of it from various sources.

One of them was a personal copy from back in the day when it was doing the rounds. Purile and childish, but still funny lol.

Vapor · 04 October 2022, 14:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by RiotRetroGaming

Hi,

1 - Arsewipe

Yep I remember this well. Every now and again when the time is right I’ll say “I just did a big rocking turd the size of a submarine” .. usually to my son.

RiotRetroGaming · 02 October 2023, 18:22

I found this...

https://archive.org/details/youtube-hanrUpmiNEM

But still missing Harkers & Venos.
I will try and find some MP3 files, I'm sure my Dad ripped them on a PC before putting his Amiga away.

19 November 2021, 17:59	#1
RiotRetroGaming Riot Retro Gaming Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Sittingbourne Posts: 268	Arsewipe, Harkers, Venos Hi, Has anybody seen these three audio PD demos? My Dad had these on a single floppy disk that loaded and you press either 1, 2 or 3 to select which one you wanted. He may still have it somewhere, but it's an ask for him these days. If I get it I will share it. 1 - Arsewipe 2 - Harkers 3 - Venos I think I can recite all of them!! 1 - Arsewipe: Ever had diarrohea so bad, that what you thought was a fart wound up as a new pair of trousers? fart sound or ever had bog paper so thin your hand went straight through rustle sound and guy says "ahhh sh!t"... WELL NOW THERE'S AN ANSWER, new super-absorbency Arsewipe - Arsewipe is a deep textured three-ply tissue that soaks up that runny diarrohea and gets round to the tiniest particle of clinka... And Arsewipe's coating of soothing bum cream massages anal muscles that have been stretched to the limit guy is screaming by a bog rocking turd the size of a submarine BAAAANGGGGG water sound - so if you're full of sh!t, Arsewipe is here to wipe your cares away, and remember, next to Arsewipe everything is crap!! 2 - Harkers: Heeeeyy! hurry down to Harker's halfway house sale - everything's slashed in half... groceries, electrical goods, fashion, men's wear - so if you want half of anything - a sock, a shoe, a trouser, a pant, a one and a half peace suite, then come down early tomorrow half past nine! 3 - Venos: Man coughing and wheezing then looped sound sample A-COUGH, A-COUGH, A-COUGH, A-COUGH (made to sound like a constant f-off!!) A-COUGH mixture, it's got to be Venos, to sooth away that tickley cough sample fades back in for a few seconds and finishes An amazing play on words these and are really, really funny!!!! Correct me if I got anything wrong, that was in-grained from memory since I was 11, now 40 hahaha, yes we played it that much I'll be so chuffed if somebody has this!!!!!!!!!!!! Ant

19 November 2021, 18:17	#2
Pyromania Moderator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 3,375	What are you on about?

19 November 2021, 19:42	#4
Galahad/FLT Going nowhere Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: United Kingdom Age: 50 Posts: 8,986	Reminds me of Ooh its obscene by Anarchy I think, where they rang up people with prank phone calls and recorded the result, one of my first experiences of the demo scene

19 November 2021, 20:45	#5
Superman Super Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Wakefield Age: 48 Posts: 1,334	Arsewipe [ Show youtube player ]

20 November 2021, 10:01	#6
stevsurv Beta 1.666 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: in 1985 Posts: 384

22 November 2021, 20:42	#7
hitm4n Registered User Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Lincoln, UK Posts: 604	I had the arsewipe intro on some demo disk, don't recall the other two though. I definately found arsewipe once while trawling through tosec disks, so its findable. I always remembered it as "a bog blocking turd the size of a submarine", and the audio was really quiet as i recall...

23 November 2021, 11:44	#9
Mad-Matt Longplayer Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Lincoln / UK Age: 44 Posts: 1,846	I'm not sure if its the same Arsewipe but I had a version as part of a Gorezone disk (Gorezone IV?) . I cant seem to find it in any collection atm.

23 November 2021, 19:40	#10
Pyromania Moderator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 3,375	Is Arsewipe the sequel to $HitH@ppens?

29 November 2021, 22:35	#11
ElectroBlaster Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Exeter, Devon, UK Age: 49 Posts: 1,705	I have a few adf's of it from various sources. One of them was a personal copy from back in the day when it was doing the rounds. Purile and childish, but still funny lol.

02 October 2023, 18:22	#13
RiotRetroGaming Riot Retro Gaming Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Sittingbourne Posts: 268	I found this... https://archive.org/details/youtube-hanrUpmiNEM But still missing Harkers & Venos. I will try and find some MP3 files, I'm sure my Dad ripped them on a PC before putting his Amiga away.

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