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Not bad at all, sir.
Starts off well. Gets a bit boring around two minutes (it's using the melody too much to carry the rest of the track). Could do with being a bit more dynamic there to stop it from seeming to drag on (the original gets away with it by having a much more brash lead sound).
Bit of a tip for you though...you see that "reverb level" slider? You want to set it to zero. And spread out the instruments a bit; it's all very mono. Let's have some hard left and right pan in there!
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