This was a fun find in the archive =)
Quote:
How to steal a pc or other hardware at a demo-party
by FaRaMiR // ELiTE
Disclaimer: the aim of this text is to give robbers' tactics in order
to be prevented more easily.
Disclaimer: I never stole anything during a party.
Disclaimer: Who the hell is ELITE ? Elite is the occidental greatest
Atari hackers crew, whose founders started piracy 13 years
ago on the C64, and are former Hotline and MCA members.
It has thus nothing to do with what the so called PC scene
calls elitism.
How to sneak in a party:
First of all, log in the party under a fake alias and real
name. Tell people you're a new group looking for coders or some crap,
in a way people smile you and then forget you completely, thinking what
a poor guy you are. Play it shy, and stutter a bit. Play Descent all
the time. Don't look all around while stealing stuff. Always steal
such as if you were handling your own hardware. Better a hard bargain
than a rookie failure. Never even attempt to steal from a girl.
How to steal a hard drive at a party place:
Most of PC dudes leave their cpu hoodless, so you can see
wether a second hd is installed, the second generally being the
biggest one. The second hd is always easier to steal, of course, and
much more interesting by its size. Spy the dude and his friends
and check a moment they leave their hardware alone. Then, bring your
own hoodless PC close and start browsing on the dude's hd. Then get
back on yours, and do so for a while, to be sure the guy hasn't got
an eye on you. Go to the toilet, or buy a beer or something.
When you're back, unplug the guy'z hd and plug it on your pc.
If anyone catches you, tell you want to copy something big and that
your network card is nuked, or you don't have any. FORMAT it.
Put your hood back on. Fill it with crap. When the guy gets back and
asks for his hd, tell you just arrived and don't leave the party
prematurely. Get friend with him.
How to steal an Amiga 1200, or any other low volume cpu:
Get the party start to end, such as a sunday morning. Spy the owner and his friends.
Make sure all your hardware is already in the car. Wait for a moment
they leave together, such as to eat or something. Then go to the cpu,
unplug the cables. Take your time. Faint to search objects in the
neighboorhood in order to forget nothing. If anyone catches you, tell
a friend asked you to get his cpu, coz his mother died in a bank
robbery, and apologie for the mistake bargain the hugest thing you can.
DO NOT FLEE. And start over with another Amiga.
When you've got your Amiga, walk at your ease to the exit, and then
to your car, and leave asap.
How to steal a whole PC system:
You have to be at least two to do this safely. Make sure all your
cpu's but one are already in the car and the party starts to end,
or a good movie's on. Get a bored lamer sleeping on his keyboard.
Tell him you would like to play a network game with friends, bargain
him deep in the ass. Laugh with him a (little) bit, play the poor guy.
Point the table you're going to ten times. Be friendly. If he's gay,
smash him a punch in the face so strongly he won't get awake before a
week or two. (I wouldn't touch a gay's cpu, though, it gives bad luck)
If he's gay and tries to touch you, break his skull against anything
that looks like a corner. Get the PC and faint playing. Get your
accomplice to follow him to the sleeping room or to a blind spot of
the party place. Then make it fast. Slam all the cables in a bag, and
get your pc's to the car. Leave your vga monitors there, it costs
nearly nothing. Get in the car and flee.
If the guy gets you back in a next party, tell yours has been stolen
too, and that you were gone to the police and came back just after
the party ended completely, or didn't come back at all.
Have fun stealing, lamers. If you get caught, no one's going to get
kicked but you.
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