A waste of lifetime

[S0ulA55a551n]

I have had similar thoughts recently and not just about gaming. I turn 47 in a few months.

However my signature on most places and my fav quote says it all to me. And doesn't just cover computers ....

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."

- George Bernard Shaw

[Zak]

@PeterK I get the theory about everything being pointless, but overall you seem to be in midlife crisis too

@rare_j where is that avatar picture of yours from, it's sickly-sweet, when that's the right word from the dictionary and not a total offense

[TCD]

Originally Posted by Zak

@rare_j where is that avatar picture of yours from, it's sickly-sweet, when that's the right word from the dictionary and not a total offense

New Zealand Story: https://amiga.abime.net/games/view/t...-zealand-story

[VladR]

Originally Posted by d4rk3lf

We had great tragedy in Serbia, last year, when one kid, took a gun, gone to his school and killed 9 kids and guard. He is from wealthy family, and the school is one of the best in whole country. One theory that is circulating is that part of that is triggered because that kid didn't had a single minute of free time. His every day was strictly planned (from his parents) to go to various classes (after school). I am not saying that he wouldn't have done it even if he had free time (because he is clearly a psychopath, showing no remorse after massacre he did), but then again.. who knows?

Just because he killed 9 other schoolmates doesn't make him a psychopath. Maybe he is, I don't know. But in most cases I looked into, there was severe bullying involved, before the breaking point was reached.

I even recall the audacity of one surviving "victim" being abhorred that he was shot "just because of bullying". Incredible !!! The abuser is always entitled to hurting, but the moment victim strikes back "Oh, no ! That's SO WRONG!!!"



Point is, we don't know and never will the exact specifics of what happened.



But I would bet, odds are 10:1, he reached his breaking point after bullying, regardless of what agenda is media/school district/lawyers pushing...

[jurassicman]

Originally Posted by alkis21

I spent half my free time and money on gaming and partying. The other half I wasted.

This is the Best citation ever.

I don't regret any Amiga moment in my life, they help(ed) me to stay happy.

[d4rk3lf]

We are going slightly off topic..

Originally Posted by VladR

But I would bet, odds are 10:1, he reached his breaking point after bullying, regardless of what agenda is media/school district/lawyers pushing...

The bullying aspect was heavily discussed here in media, and it was investigated, and it seems that this wasn't a case in this tragedy.
Yes, at some point he changed the class, but (if I understand correctly) it's mainly because he was unsatisfied he was not treated like genius by everyone in it's class. Sounded to me like he was spoiled.

Originally Posted by VladR

Point is, we don't know and never will the exact specifics of what happened.

Fully agreed.

I mentioned that case, only because I think it's wrong that any kid's time is fully occupied... kids need free time... lots of free time...

LOL.. I remember some lady teacher of mathematic in my School. and her mantra for what the kids should be doing: "8 hours schools, 8 hours styding, 8 hours sleeping".
(...speaking about psyhopats)

[VladR]

Originally Posted by d4rk3lf

LOL.. I remember some lady teacher of mathematic in my School. and her mantra for what the kids should be doing: "8 hours schools, 8 hours styding, 8 hours sleeping".
(...speaking about psyhopats)

Somebody should ask her whether she found happiness with that mantra

[copse]

Originally Posted by Tigerskunk

Any moment in your life you spent completely being in flow and happy about it is probably life time spent best.

So, your teacher was wrong.

Good point. I think there's truth in this.

[rare_j]

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

[PeterK]

Originally Posted by klx300r

@ PeterK
I see the glass was 'half empty' today but alas surely you've had days where it was 'half full'

also @Zak
I'm not sure what you really want to tell me, but I don't have any depressions, I just try to see my life and this world as realistic as possible, I'm not in a midlife crisis, I'm already much too old for that (63), and I already wondered in my very early childhood what this world should be good for, why all the grown ups are so busy with doing pointless things and what I should do here and in the future. Then I thought, that I have to get older to understand this world and to find the sense of my life, but I could never find it, until I finally realized that life makes no sense at all and that my first impressions in my childhood were never wrong, just not verified enough with some knowledge about this stupid world. But I spent enough time to know or to understand for sure without any doubt that life is just a stupid game, and I never liked to play any games! I can still afford to fill up my glass with some very cheap wine every day to flush the reality away for some hours, but that won't make it any better.

[dreadnought]

Originally Posted by PeterK

also @Zak
I'm not sure what you really want to tell me, but I don't have any depressions, I just try to see my life and this world as realistic as possible, I'm not in a midlife crisis, I'm already much too old for that (63), and I already wondered in my very early childhood what this world should be good for, why all the grown ups are so busy with doing pointless things and what I should do here and in the future. Then I thought, that I have to get older to understand this world and to find the sense of my life, but I could never find it, until I finally realized that life makes no sense at all and that my first impressions in my childhood were never wrong, just not verified enough with some knowledge about this stupid world. But I spent enough time to know or to understand for sure without any doubt that life is just a stupid game, and I never liked to play any games! I can still afford to fill up my glass with some very cheap wine every day to flush the reality away for some hours, but that won't make it any better.

If you haven't already, you should read some Thomas Ligotti (and other antinatalists). You will feel right at home

I wouldn't say however that your worldview is "as realistic as possible" since it's obviously heavily skewed towards the pessimistic end of scale. And "real" life is neither pessimistic nor optimistic - it just is. What you make out of it is up to you (and everybody else).

[d4rk3lf]

Originally Posted by PeterK

I can still afford to fill up my glass with some very cheap wine every day to flush the reality away for some hours, but that won't make it any better.

Yet, many people can't have luxury of that.
And I mean.. not only luxury in terms of money, but many people are in the war, or in the hospital, or overwhelmed with low payed job... etc.
Isn't the fact that you can have this small pleasure, not worthy of little internal happiness? Isn't that, in a sense, ungrateful?
Now, when you take this little small pleasures, and combine them with helping others (that I am sure you do), isn't that reason for a little bit more happiness, and sense in life?

Btw, not trying to change the ways you think, just trying to explain the way I think, and I feel sorry that you feel that way, and really hope you will find a way for happiness, and making some sense out of life.
Cheers.

[lmimmfn]

Jez this thread has turned dark, unfortunately.

The most beautiful thing about children(including us back in the day) is their innocence, and their ability to enjoy their free time while cared for by their adult parents.
We are the adults now and strive to provide the same for our kids.

Our best times in life were the times we could enjoy doing the things we loved, spending time with our Amigas, our friends, listening to music, watching TV, etc.

Nothing of that should ever be considered wasted time, ever, looking back and having fond memories of those times are exactly why they were precious and why we have nostalgia for them and we have our beloved parents to thank for those wonderful times and allowing us to enjoy them.

I realise this from having children and the importance of giving them their own precious memories now and in our time, whether through holidays, going to the zoo or encouraging activities similar to playing around with our amigas like we did back in the day, the important thing is that they enjoy themselves, their innocence and their freedom!!!!

My rime with my Amstrad CPC and Amiga resulted in my professional software development career, I used my Amiga for 3D modeling, animating, 2D & animation, programming etc. All those things help me with my career, understanding of 3D space, maths to program 3D at Uni.

The time I spent with computers when I was young were precious but valuable in later life/career.

[giantclam]

Originally Posted by PeterK

I'm not sure what you really want to tell me, but I don't have any depressions, I just try to see my life and this world as realistic as possible, I'm not in a midlife crisis, I'm already much too old for that (63), and I already wondered in my very early childhood what this world should be good for, why all the grown ups are so busy with doing pointless things and what I should do here and in the future. Then I thought, that I have to get older to understand this world and to find the sense of my life, but I could never find it, until I finally realized that life makes no sense at all and that my first impressions in my childhood were never wrong, just not verified enough with some knowledge about this stupid world. But I spent enough time to know or to understand for sure without any doubt that life is just a stupid game, and I never liked to play any games! I can still afford to fill up my glass with some very cheap wine every day to flush the reality away for some hours, but that won't make it any better.

If your stated age is accurate, I find myself a few years your elder... which may explain why I read your previous post here, and remarked to self ..'That is very Zen really'... =)


My thoughts here, are still stuck at the first logic gate -- if you believe you wasted your time (doing something), you have ; if you believe you didn't waste your time (doing the same something), you didn't. In both cases, the experience/opinions of others, should not be required for one to determine what the case may be...for themselves. Thus, I fallover into a Robbie the robot meltdown of intense non-sequitur short-circuiting...

[copse]

I am curious why one would be on EAB if one found it pointless to be here? I find it hard to remember to go to web sites I do not find pointful, is all.

[TCD]

Originally Posted by dreadnought

And "real" life is neither pessimistic nor optimistic - it just is. What you make out of it is up to you (and everybody else).

Very true. There are of course certain outside factors, but if you are 'happy' or 'sad' is mainly up to you.

[modrobert]

Originally Posted by PeterK

I'm not sure what you really want to tell me, but I don't have any depressions, I just try to see my life and this world as realistic as possible, I'm not in a midlife crisis, I'm already much too old for that (63), and I already wondered in my very early childhood what this world should be good for, why all the grown ups are so busy with doing pointless things and what I should do here and in the future. Then I thought, that I have to get older to understand this world and to find the sense of my life, but I could never find it, until I finally realized that life makes no sense at all and that my first impressions in my childhood were never wrong, just not verified enough with some knowledge about this stupid world. But I spent enough time to know or to understand for sure without any doubt that life is just a stupid game, and I never liked to play any games! I can still afford to fill up my glass with some very cheap wine every day to flush the reality away for some hours, but that won't make it any better.

I like your bitter approach to life, because it seems genuine and truthful from your perspective, no sugarcoating, just as it is.

Personally I do physical activity instead of alcohol, similar reasons regarding escaping reality as needed, but from experience it keeps the mind a bit more positive and even tempered overall. I think gaming is a good escape as well.

This is all subjective, my take: Life is chaos, keep going stubbornly, never give up. Make a lot of friends and love someone if possible, to me life is pretty much pointless when not sharing it with others. Take time to appreciate the simple things (like a beautiful sunset or an Amiga demo), try to live life one day at a time. Minimize the "doom scrolling" (smartphone use). Divide big problems into smaller ones, and don't be afraid to ask for help.

[Zak]

Originally Posted by PeterK

also @Zak
I'm not sure what you really want to tell me, but I don't have any depressions, I just try to see my life and this world as realistic as possible, I'm not in a midlife crisis, I'm already much too old for that (63), and I already wondered in my very early childhood what this world should be good for, why all the grown ups are so busy with doing pointless things and what I should do here and in the future. Then I thought, that I have to get older to understand this world and to find the sense of my life, but I could never find it, until I finally realized that life makes no sense at all and that my first impressions in my childhood were never wrong, just not verified enough with some knowledge about this stupid world. But I spent enough time to know or to understand for sure without any doubt that life is just a stupid game, and I never liked to play any games! I can still afford to fill up my glass with some very cheap wine every day to flush the reality away for some hours, but that won't make it any better.

I won't flush reality away with alcohol anymore, I want to experience every moment of it. I had gone through hard times in the past and didn't want to feel any emotions anymore, hanging a big Mr. Spock poster to my wall. That makes you sick time after time. Now I try to accept all emotions, anger, fear, stress, everyhting. I didn't drink alcohol in decades. I also appreciate the good emotions on good days more than im my past. My midlife crisis that I'm maybe a bit late with now (around 50th birthday) is just because the biological clock tells me that the ride will be over soon. Time is running out. That's the reason. I'm thinking more positive about life than in my youth, by far. But it's also a development process that never ends.

[PeterK]

Drinking my wine and listening to Blues music every night is definitly not a waste of time for me. It's one of the few things that I still like in this world. Ok, in the past when I was younger and more healthy I also liked to discover the whole world and traveled a lot through most countries in Europe, to the USA, to Australia and Asia. But that time is over for long. What is left are the memories in my brain.

[BigD]

Originally Posted by Zak

Now inmidst of a long mid-life-crisis (I'm fine, don't worry ), I remember this and wonder if I have wasted my life with gaming, with drawing solution maps on paper that I don't even possess anymore and with all the hours were I meticulously worked on finding the right car setup or level edit for the lack of something better and more useful.

What's your opinion?

Share your passion with your kids and play multiplayer split-screen games and it all seems more worthwhile IMHO.