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Old 26 July 2019, 05:20   #41
jmmijo
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Apologies on Absence! as I have Stated in other Topics I Created my Mental health has gotten the Better of me the Past Couple of Days! just Needed a Breather!
No worries, just be sure to take your health, be it physical and/or mental as a priority over this forum

Real Life is a bit more important then chatting with peeps over here
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Old 26 July 2019, 10:22   #42
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What's up with this general off topic threads?
Many depressive threads. Rutger Hauer is dead, your beloved pets (mostly dead), then this theme..

Anyway, I am surrounded with people with similar issues, even I don't (think) I have it.
My very own girlfriend have a panic attacks, some of my friends have depression issues, and one friend have anger management issues.
I am really trying hard to understand these issues, but I fail often.

For example, when someone close to me have an issues with depression, I usually avoid subject, because it"s this person will, if he want to talk with me about that, or not. But if the person ask for my advice, I usually say: For start, just do a little bit of exercise, and start visiting nature.
Usual reply is: That won't help me; then I reply: I know it won't (right away), but it's just start in the right direction.
Then I told them: Start giving yourself small tasks. Not hard tasks, but very small and easy, and do them to the letter. After you do them, give yourself a little bit of reward (for example: buy Amiga ). That will give you confidence, and will grow your happiness.
If I see again, that the person is avoiding, then I have this terrible thought: "This is a lazy person, that is just trying to his best abilities to find the reasons to be unhappy, similar like alcoholic will always find good reasons to drink".

But the core problem (and solution), imho, is, in what direction we learned to see things, when we were young.
Maybe the reason I don't feel unhappy, is because at the age of 14, I had an heavy accident, and was nailed to bed in 4 months, in heavy pain.
I remember clearly thinking then: If I could just feel without pain, I would be, very, very happy man.
And that was it. Later, when I was not only felt better (without pain), but could also walk to the bathroom, I felt like I was in heaven.
That not stopped there. Even today, for very minor things I feel very happy and grateful. Man, I am freelancer, I work whenever I want, i drink whenever I want, I have freedom, and living in the part of the city with beautiful nature (that I wouldn't trade for any metropolis city)... why would I feel bad? Of course, I'll try to improve further my position, and if possible, be even more happy.

So go ahead. Find reasons to be unhappy, that's very easy, but I assure you, it's also very easy to find reasons to be happy.
I am not saying, life is without troubles, and someone should look bright, even when its dark. If its dark, its dark. Lets fix the dark if we can. Let's put energy to solve it, and not wasting energy on despair, if we cant fix it, lets wait for dark times to pass.
I know it sounds like cliche, and I know there is people in this world, that are very objectively unhappy (sick kids, for example), and the above won't help them very much. But are you sure you are one of those?

I am very sorry if I offended anyone with my words.
But I am trying to give you, not only empty words, but some facts. I know that some people just have (physically) wrong chemistry in their brain (lack of serotonin), but we are people, and should be reasonable enough to understand that even lack of pain is a reason to be happy. You can go walking to the bathroom? You are happy man. You can play Amiga games, and enjoy... man, you are blessed.
All above simple things that we are taking for granted, are NOT granted, and I am pretty sure, many people in this world, who doesn't have luxury to do above things, would agreed.
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Old 26 July 2019, 10:51   #43
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The beloved pets thread is a tribute thread, not a depressive one. Feel free to share pictures and stories of pets who are alive!
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Old 26 July 2019, 11:11   #44
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Nice post d4rk3lf, you are right

I'm lucky i can spend my time with Amiga demoscene stuff

I can see and listen to all these wonderful effects and sounds

Much more than this, i have the time to do that !

I really hope to have the health and the conditions to continue in this way
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Old 26 July 2019, 11:47   #45
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@d4rk3lf : part of your post reminded me of this FR article : "Children: Are we creating a Care Bear generation?" (google tanslate link).
Perhaps part of the explanation of some of the current ills ?
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Old 26 July 2019, 13:46   #46
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Originally Posted by d4rk3lf View Post
What's up with this general off topic threads?
Many depressive threads. Rutger Hauer is dead, your beloved pets (mostly dead), then this theme..
As forum population ages, I believe we will see more and more of those 'ohh shit' topics. But as gimbal pointed out, pet tribute topic is not just about past pets. My dog is still very alive... (even after finding chocolate and not sharing it with anyone... followed by vet visit and procedure to get all deadly substance out of his organism)

As for your suggestion regarding depression, if life worked that way, you would get Nobel price in medicine and life would be much easier. Just to point out, some depressed people are very healthy, outgoing and physical activity has nothing to do with depression. It seems that you find easy way to avoid listening people with their problems in order for you to feel better. Great if that works for you, but I am not sure that that helps your friends.

Advice to be happy with small things - yes, we all should be, except world does not work that way. Small things might take your mind from something for a little while, but mind has strange way of finding itself back in mood.

Sometimes listening to Djordje Balaševic helps, tho. (One of best things from coming from your city IMHO )

Sorry if my post offends you, but that is just my opinion. No harm or disrespect meant.

@Gimbal - Back in 90s I wrote an paper for my English class covering one of days when I did not know if I will survive to see next day (and at5 the time I had lots of those) - everyone who read it concluded that I should wrote book about it.
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Old 26 July 2019, 14:31   #47
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As for your suggestion regarding depression, if life worked that way, you would get Nobel price in medicine and life would be much easier. Just to point out, some depressed people are very healthy, outgoing and physical activity has nothing to do with depression. It seems that you find easy way to avoid listening people with their problems in order for you to feel better. Great if that works for you, but I am not sure that that helps your friends.
Naah..
I really want to help, but it's sometimes hard to comfort a person that trained it's mind to look at bad things first, and then examine (over and over again), how miserable they are. They should start train mind to look a little bit different, and start searching for good things also, not only bad.

I know that there are physically very healthy man that suffers from depression issues. That's why I mentioned serotonin. But I hope you agreed, that every depression have a source. Why not find source? Bad job? Change job. Bad wife? Ask for divorce. Bad trauma? Try to find a way to solve it, either with doctors, or with friends, or talk. Let time do it's thing, also.
Or you are trying to tell me that there are people that have everything great in life, but they are still depressed? If that's the case, I wouldn't call those people depressive, but ungrateful.

Then again, I repeat, there are a whole lot of people that are depressed for a very good reasons, and I am not talking about them. I just think, that in this massive depression epidemia, lots of people are being depressed, for not good reasons.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anubis View Post
Advice to be happy with small things - yes, we all should be, except world does not work that way. Small things might take your mind from something for a little while, but mind has strange way of finding itself back in mood.
These are not small things.
Being healthy is not a small thing. Being able to walk, run, watch, touch, hear and see is enormous starting point where people should be grateful and happy.
We see that, when someone, for example get cancer. Most of the time, it changes the person perspective by 180 degree, and the person is starting to get grateful for every minute it gets as a bonus.
---------------

Of course I am not being offended my man! , I'd like to learn about these stuff. I'd like to understand better.
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Old 26 July 2019, 15:54   #48
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Naah..
I really want to help, but it's sometimes hard to comfort a person that trained it's mind to look at bad things first, and then examine (over and over again), how miserable they are. They should start train mind to look a little bit different, and start searching for good things also, not only bad.

I know that there are physically very healthy man that suffers from depression issues. That's why I mentioned serotonin. But I hope you agreed, that every depression have a source. Why not find source? Bad job? Change job. Bad wife? Ask for divorce. Bad trauma? Try to find a way to solve it, either with doctors, or with friends, or talk. Let time do it's thing, also.
Or you are trying to tell me that there are people that have everything great in life, but they are still depressed? If that's the case, I wouldn't call those people depressive, but ungrateful.
Mostly, people don't even know source of their depression and often it is not what you might think it is. For example, friend of mine was all OK, healthy, 3 kids, happy wife, great work - and depression just got him by surprise. You don't have to tell him to go for a walk as he is pretty much into outdoors activities (much more than me) including hunting, fishing, climbing and bike rides. Past 2 years he is seeing medical help and he is on medicine. Even he never argued with his wife or had major issues with her, they almost divorced. He is doing somewhat better, but still mostly thanks to modern medicine and medication.

Quote:
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Then again, I repeat, there are a whole lot of people that are depressed for a very good reasons, and I am not talking about them. I just think, that in this massive depression epidemia, lots of people are being depressed, for not good reasons.
What you might think is not good reason in someone else perspective might be very different.

Quote:
Originally Posted by d4rk3lf View Post
These are not small things.
Being healthy is not a small thing. Being able to walk, run, watch, touch, hear and see is enormous starting point where people should be grateful and happy.
We see that, when someone, for example get cancer. Most of the time, it changes the person perspective by 180 degree, and the person is starting to get grateful for every minute it gets as a bonus.
---------------

Of course I am not being offended my man! , I'd like to learn about these stuff. I'd like to understand better.
So what about people who can't do some of those essential things you mentioned in post above?

Out late EAB buddies Laffer35 and Paul *aka green alien) comes to mind.

I could wrote about something I went through 3 years ago... but no time right now.
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Old 26 July 2019, 17:54   #49
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@d4rk3lf

It can be hard for anyone who’s never experienced depression to understand it. You make the common mistake of trying to apply your own logic. Depression doesn’t respect logic and you can’t reason with it. It’s an illness that can affect anyone and needs to be treated as such.

Yes, some depression is circumstantial but often it is not. Think of people who have a psychotic episode and believe that they can see things that are not there. The brain, when it malfunctions, can be entirely impervious to reality. I know you mean well, but saying “if I were you...” can be really unhelpful and even hurtful to someone who’s already trying hard and failing to be happy. We can never put ourselves in someone else’s mind and feel what it’s like to be them. We should just learn to respect our differences.
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Old 26 July 2019, 18:17   #50
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@Anubis
- I've never heard of a case of a perfectly happy man, as you mentioned, and then just BUM - depression. Strange. I don't say I don't believe you, because I do. I am saying, who knows what was happening inside him, while he was looking perfectly Ok outside?
I hope he will get perfectly alright.

- As for the perspective, imho, people use to think that they are more unique then they really are. I see a tons of people talking the same stuff, and thinking that something is only happening to them.
But I see your point. Yes, it's different perspective. But would you always give a chocolate to spoiled kid, because his perspective is different?
Sorry, it might be a very bad example (I wanted to say something more gentle), but you got the idea.

- As for the people that don't have all those essential things, I think that we, as a society, are responsible to make them as easy as possible, and for them, to try and search any way to make themselves happy. And actually many found a way to be happy. I'd advise depressive people to learn from those people.
As for the suicide, I wouldn't dare touch that subject. Poor souls. I am really sad they couldn't find a way around life, find some solutions, and I really hope that they are in some place much better for them.

Last edited by d4rk3lf; 26 July 2019 at 18:24.
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Old 26 July 2019, 18:24   #51
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@clebin

I do actually agreed to majority of your post.
As I say in my first post here, I never talk about it with people, unless they want it.
I never say I am 100% correct, and always saying I might misunderstand every single thing.

But this small thing in your post:
Quote:
Originally Posted by clebin View Post
Yes, some depression is circumstantial but often it is not. T
I believe it's totally opposite.
Often the depression is in just light form, and can be cured easily. And these are the people I am talking about.
The other people that suffers true depression... well.. who I am to even say a word about those cases? I am not a doctor, and wouldn't dare comment something like that.
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Old 26 July 2019, 18:50   #52
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Can I just State that I haven't Created this Topic for it Offend Anyone

I Certainly didn't Post it to Put a Downer on anybody Either!

I Posted this Topic as Like I Stated in my First Message You are All a Friendly bunch and was Making this Topic so that We Can all Share our Experiences with Anger, Depression, Mental Health (Lots of Aspects to name individually) and How we found What Works for us in Aiding it and What Doesn't Help us Also

Please Guys let's Keep it Friendly
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Old 26 July 2019, 18:57   #53
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I believe it's totally opposite.
Often the depression is in just light form, and can be cured easily. And these are the people I am talking about.
The other people that suffers true depression... well.. who I am to even say a word about those cases? I am not a doctor, and wouldn't dare comment something like that.
I guess we’ll never know. It can be hard to distinguish. Some people who are just about coping can be tipped over into a state of depression by the smallest little incident and then it seems circumstantial when in reality they might have shrugged it off if they were in a better state of mind. Sometimes people themselves think the depression is about something specific when really it’s misdirection and the problem is elsewhere, which I think you touched on earlier...

Last edited by clebin; 26 July 2019 at 19:03.
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Old 26 July 2019, 18:59   #54
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Sorry if I don't sound friendly, I am just really trying hard to stay on topic titled ' Anger, And how People cope with theirs?'

IMHO human mind is not simple thing that you can just make happy by making it comfortable.

Suggested everyone to check this trailer for a game...

[ Show youtube player ]

Read comments by people sent to Ninja Theory team.
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Old 26 July 2019, 19:02   #55
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Originally Posted by nathanm1991 View Post
Can I just State that I haven't Created this Topic for it Offend Anyone

I Certainly didn't Post it to Put a Downer on anybody Either!

I Posted this Topic as Like I Stated in my First Message You are All a Friendly bunch and was Making this Topic so that We Can all Share our Experiences with Anger, Depression, Mental Health (Lots of Aspects to name individually) and How we found What Works for us in Aiding it and What Doesn't Help us Also

Please Guys let's Keep it Friendly
It’s an interesting topic and worth talking about. I think it’s been a nice & friendly debate so far and hopefully d4rk3lf thinks the same. Peace & love, as they say!
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Old 26 July 2019, 19:03   #56
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For me works this passion

I mean, following a project like Amiga Demoscene Archive (and Amiga stuff in general) help me to don't have mental problem

To be honest, i really don't know if it's the "right" way, but i think that in the end it's a passion like others i could have

I know, it's a kind of "Another World" from a certain point of view, since this is not the "real world"

To be precise, in the past i had also other interests, more tied to the real world and not to a digital life

What do you think, it's "our" hobby a right way to fight mental issues ?
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Old 26 July 2019, 19:52   #57
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For me works this passion

I mean, following a project like Amiga Demoscene Archive (and Amiga stuff in general) help me to don't have mental problem

To be honest, i really don't know if it's the "right" way, but i think that in the end it's a passion like others i could have

I know, it's a kind of "Another World" from a certain point of view, since this is not the "real world"

To be precise, in the past i had also other interests, more tied to the real world and not to a digital life

What do you think, it's "our" hobby a right way to fight mental issues ?
Well HOBBIES are a way to make your life more enjoyable, if that also helps to quell anxiety and depression etc... then all the better

There is no magic bullet for mental illness, regardless of the degree it shows up on the individual nor any way to fully combat issues like this, however if taking you mind off the issue for awhile helps then so be it.

However, if anybody thinks that they need to seek professional advice then they should, but of course this is not always possible due to an individuals financial position, but I wish everyone that is battling things like this the best of luck
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Old 26 July 2019, 20:01   #58
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It’s an interesting topic and worth talking about. I think it’s been a nice & friendly debate so far and hopefully d4rk3lf thinks the same. Peace & love, as they say!
Yeah to be honest I think it has been Friendly thus Far I just don't want to have Offended anyone or Spark any Arguments The thread is here to Help others and is a Good thing to talk about it
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Old 26 July 2019, 21:23   #59
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Can I just State that I haven't Created this Topic for it Offend Anyone
I Certainly didn't Post it to Put a Downer on anybody Either!
Hey!
Relax... keep it calm... try to manage your anger.

Nobody here is fighting with anybody, we are talking very civilized. I really enjoy reading Anubis and clebin point of view, even I don't agreed with them with everything.
They were also very nice and friendly all the time.

I don't get your reaction, really.

Edit:
I agree we went to of topic a little, because we are talking about depression, and not anger management (and these are 2 different things).
Sorry for that.

Last edited by d4rk3lf; 26 July 2019 at 21:31.
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Old 26 July 2019, 21:59   #60
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I guess we’ll never know. It can be hard to distinguish.
Agreed, and that's why I never insist to talk with person that (clam to) have that issue. Only of they want to speak with me, I can tell them my honest opinion, if they are "fraud depressive", or real depressive.
And again, should I must repeat that after saying my opinion, I always say it's my personal, objective interpretation, and I could be wrong 100%.

off topic:
To tell you the truth man, I am tired always repeating: imho, I might be wrong, you might be right.. etc... simple logic opposes it. If I say something, it should be obvious that it is always IMHO, and not the fact. If it's fact, I'l say loudly it's fact... not always repeating imho (because, if you don't repeat, people will say : Ooohh.. look at this boy... he is talking like something is fact.

Sorry for going so much off topic.

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IMHO human mind is not simple thing that you can just make happy by making it comfortable.
That's correct, and I was kind of afraid that someone will interpetrate my words like the above.
When I was writing my first post, my thoughts were like: "Oh, maybe someone will understand this, like I am saying that all human being needs is health, and then it will become as a happy sheep".
I didn't touched spiritual (or strictly emotional) side of human, intentionally, because I didn't want to get off topic so much, and it's a so wide subject that we can talk in the few next years.
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