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Old 09 January 2017, 19:27   #2001
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X-Men Apocalypse.

Any X-men movie is basically defined by its villain and how that villain forces the X-Men to do what they do.

The villain in this movie sucks really big time; basically its another Blade Trinity but then more boring. So as a result, the movie is quite boring as well.

5/10.
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Old 12 January 2017, 22:14   #2002
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Minions

One has to ask the question: are the minions what makes Despicable Me fun? The answer: no. They make it cute. And as such Minions as a standalone movie is really cute and beautifully animated, but don't expect big laughs. Story-wise it doesn't come close to any of the Pixar or Dreamworks outings, the only purpose of this movie is to show you and make you listen to minions for every second of it. Really excellent viewing pleasure for the younger kids, so-so for young adults and up.

And wouldn't you know it, at the end of it you even almost understand their weird mix of European languages!

9/10 if you're younger than 12
6.5/10 otherwise
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Old 19 January 2017, 16:39   #2003
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You really have to be into x-men universe (and bit biased) to like it more then 5/10.

As for Minions not being close to any Pizar/DW outings, you clearly haven't seen Good Dinosaurs. My kids just didn't like it at all, while true - Minions are great for kids and gives them some bad ideas... My daughter asked me to show her videos of musicians destroying guitar on the stage after watching that movie.

Speaking of kids movies, we have seen Ice Age - Collision Course. Kids loved it, while for me Ray Romano voice is good enough reason to avoid it. (just annoying by it ) On positive side, Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson was in it, and my kids recognized him. (They watched Cosmos with me last summer)
5/10 if you adult, kids 8/10

I have also seen Suicide Squad and whole movie just did not click for me. Will Smith as bad guy?! Really? Rest of them, except Jared Leto and Margot Robbie just didn't click. Those two I really hope to see in separate movie that does justice to their characters.
Whole movie fest more like introduction rather then completed movie and I had constantly feeling that I am watching TV series rather then movie. On positive side - soundtrack was really good. 5/10
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Old 19 January 2017, 21:34   #2004
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re: Suicide Squad - Shame, isn't it? Loved the audio/visual style that the movie opened with too, the entire thing should have been like that. Just over the top colorful and loud.

Plenty more Harlequin + Joker stuff is coming, to begin with the Harlequin solo movie. That plus Wonder Woman is going to set the proper tone for this flawed cinematic universe.
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Old 20 January 2017, 13:26   #2005
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To be fair, I did not expect much from the movie. For the same reason I avoided to watch it this long, I have not seen Supermen vs. Batmen yet. Something in whole DC universe is just off, I'm unable to figure out what...

Split seems like promising movie, but again with Shyamalan you never know if he will screw it up this time or not, even I like James McAwoy as actor.

Forgot to ask - anyone else seen Expanse?

[ Show youtube player ]

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Old 21 January 2017, 10:25   #2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anubis View Post
To be fair, I did not expect much from the movie. For the same reason I avoided to watch it this long, I have not seen Supermen vs. Batmen yet. Something in whole DC universe is just off, I'm unable to figure out what...

Split seems like promising movie, but again with Shyamalan you never know if he will screw it up this time or not, even I like James McAwoy as actor.

Forgot to ask - anyone else seen Expanse?

[ Show youtube player ]
Its just not fun is the problem with the DC universe movies. In BVS, Superman was more dour and miserable than Batman!

The Marvel movies know when to be serious and when to inject a bit of humour, and in the DC movies, its like Snyder thinks being funny is a problem, when he forgets what his source material is.

I have a feeling, Justice League will lighten the mood a little, but whether or not that will feel shoehorned in by nervous Warner Bros executives I don't know.

Suicide Squad was meh, it looked good, the humour it had did work, but the bad guy didnt, and the entire reasoning for setting up the Squad also didnt work.

Setup a group of people to specifically take down someone like Superman if he ever went rogue, and yet NONE of those characters on their own or together could actually take on Superman and hope to beat him.
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Old 27 January 2017, 19:20   #2007
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Big grin

Star Wars : Rogue One as 8Bit video game!

Spoiler Alert!!!

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Old 02 February 2017, 20:45   #2008
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Waffle Street. A hard to rate movie this. The acting is a bit meh, there isn't really much magic to it story wise. And Danny Glover is getting too old to really give his character the usual gusto.

Lets call it an honest little movie which has its moments of chuckle, its moments of feel good and its moments of having a sad. The plot: a parasite of society working in the financial industry gets burned by his own company and, not having any other skills, finds a new life in a simple chicken and waffles place where he learns that friends and family are more important than money and success.

Why I call it an honest movie is because there is no real B.S. No over the top characters (only colorful ones). It could happen to you.

And that is a good feeling, really. Life isn't bad.

6.5/10
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Old 01 March 2017, 21:12   #2009
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Alice: Through the Looking Glass

I absolutely hated the first movie by Tim Burton. You don't make a Wonderland movie and turn it into a basic war movie, it was terrible. On top of that the Jabberwocky was just another dragon. And Depp as the Hatter was just slightly less bad as Depp as Wonka. Yuck yuck yuck.

Alice: Through the Looking Glass is pretty much universally shat on. And I don't get it. This movie actually has a story to tell and it's a proper story for young and old. It has a beautifully crafted world and some really well fleshed out characters which add a lot of fun. The voice acting is great; even Depp is slightly better in his role, but still its a wonky character. I was expecting the worst and got a pretty decent Disney movie.

Its not perfect of course. The red queen is still a wickedly annoying character who does nothing but scream. Anne Hathaway is nothing more than a pretty face. The proper Wonderland characters such as the Cheshire Cat are shamefully underused and just act like props. And the worst of all: it has time travel elements and basically just copies what the Time Machine has done before.

But with about a billion more colors so meh... its fun! Would watch again.

7/10
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Old 05 March 2017, 20:57   #2010
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Finding Dory. Its nice. Not great, not anywhere near Finding Nemo, just nice. Quite a few new characters but they're just nowhere near as fleshed out as in Nemo. Where Nemo was pretty much a comedy filled to the brim with cartoony over the top characters making it fun for both child and adult, Dory is a more down to earth adventure tale which recycles quite a bit of material from its roots, unfortunately. Not exactly kid friendly material as there is a lot of dialogue and not so much action.

And its not Finding Dory, its finding Dory's parents. Which is actually a good thing, if the entire movie was about finding Dory it would have been a real copy-paste!

Fun and beautiful as per usual, but don't expect to do more than crack a shallow grin.

7/10

Last edited by gimbal; 05 March 2017 at 21:04.
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Old 25 March 2017, 13:23   #2011
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Life

Still a few weeks to wait before Alien: Covenant lands and then there was Life, another alien encounter movie that actually does model a lot after the original Alien movie.

How you will enjoy this movie will probably depend on how good you are at letting go of being annoyed by glaring mistakes, because ho boy this movie is full of them. From really unrealistic character behavior to just plain design flaws in the movie itself, it could have been better and you know it.

So go into this movie with a promise to yourself that you will not be bothered. What you will then experience is a wide range of emotions. I was smiling. I was happy. I was grossed out. I was cringing. I was tensed. I was angry. I was disturbed. I was devastated. And yes, I felt a little terror too. That is probably the best thing about this movie - it doesn't stick to one trick, it takes you through a wide range of mental and visual assaults - not one of them being jump scares, it tries to scare you in all other ways which is praise worthy!

Just for the fact that it has been over a decade since I've seen a movie that played me this heavily, I am just going to give it a first viewing score of 8/10. It is absolutely not repeatable, this is a one time enjoyment so make sure you see it in the best way you can, on the big screen.

My biggest problem with it? They modeled it after Alien yet they didn't realize the one thing that makes Alien such an intense experience - sound. The alien had that recognizable hiss and the drip drip drip of its... saliva I guess. The movie could just go silent and then you'd hear it. You didn't need to see it, the sound would get under your skin long before anything would actually happen. The creature in this movie is completely silent and that just takes the sting out of it. Nevertheless... a powerful one-time experience.

8/10
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Old 27 March 2017, 21:35   #2012
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He Never Died

A weirdly wonderful movie. Its slow burning much like Quentin Tarantino paces his movies, surrounding an odd character which is very likable yet at the same time... kind of an asshole with good reason. A supernatural tale with hints of horror and comedy attached to it - a good basis for a movie.

What truly makes this movie is the mysterious main character, a great fit for Henry Rollins, which is such an unorthodox anti-hero you'll just be waiting to see what the heck he does or says next. It has a tiny bit of of violence here and there mixed with an inkling of gore, but its all quite tame and presented comically. The main attractions are oddball dialogue, crazy, cool and mysterious characters and just surprisingly unexpected ways the main character reacts to every day situations.

I've already seen in twice in a short period of time - that's how good I think it is. I need more movies like this, just nice and anti-formulaic and willing to be weird and unique instead of a box office smash. 7.5/10.
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Old 02 April 2017, 12:36   #2013
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Inferno

This series of movies just gets worse with every entry. I read all the books and found them mildly interesting to read if you forget that a pretty dire writer was responsible for them; Inferno being the most in your face because it deals with a very real problem: overpopulation. The book, in the end, offers a brutal solution. But what it mostly has is interesting characters which all tip on the balance between good and bad; they're never what you think they are. Good read, actually.

Where Angels & Demons the movie was designed to butcher its written counterpart by leaving out all the interesting bits and just being a Bourne chase movie (the book deals with science proving that God exists - very cool subject), Inferno the movie just sets out to butcher the characters, turning them into one-dimensional pieces of shit. It also butchers the brutal ending, turning into a lovy-dovy Hollywood ending that yet again leaves the movie as nothing but a Bourne chase movie.

Jebus what a stinker! Really nice scenery though, and Felicity Jones is quite possibly the most beautiful actress alive right now and a joy to watch. That's about all the positive things I have to say about this piece of trash.

3.5/10
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Old 16 April 2017, 14:40   #2014
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Batman V superman ultraviolet code, only works in the UK.
Q47QM7996HGQ

If you grab it, post here so everyone else knows
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Old 17 April 2017, 11:03   #2015
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Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Basically Harry Potter for adults first and kiddos second. It is a funny, beautiful and even a little sexy offering which does not offer a singular plot but rather a few individual subplots that run in parallel and then ultimately converge; it makes for a fun experience as it keeps the movie going at a fast pace without ever going too fast.

CGI galore of course but by golly this paints a beautiful world that for once I actually would want to live in. The beasts... magnificent, far more inventive and better designed than anything you've seen in the Harry Potter movies.

I - friggin' - love this movie. Best one of 2016 for me.

8.9/10
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Old 17 April 2017, 18:01   #2016
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Ghost in the Shell (2017)

I love the Anime Ghost in the Shell works - even the slow burning mind-funk that is Ghost in the Shell 2.

To like the 2017 movie, don't expect it to be the Anime (and don't be influenced by retarded whitewashing accusations either). The Anime is there to make you think; the movie is there to make you go "ooh!" and "aaah!". They both have their reason for existing without ever needing to be necessarily better or worse or any kind of replacement. Its a extraordinarily pretty movie with a grand world design that is at the same time a thing of beauty and a thing of horror - I hope we never go in that direction in real life. The movie is not a replica of the first Anime movie, it borrows a little from the entire franchise and puts all those bits and pieces together into a unique sequence of events. Very recognizable for fans but still different enough.

It is a bit of a hollow movie however. For all the pretty scenery and flashy action sequences, there isn't too much to actually like in it. This is especially true for the characters, they're pretty unlikable actually. Scarlett Johansson as the Major is a conundrum; at some points she is an elegant beauty, at other times she looks and acts like an awkward boy. Good acting, I'd say. I think she's a good fit for this particular version of the character.

If you can't let go of comparing this to the Anime movies: 5/10
if you can see it as a standalone movie: 7/10
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Old 05 May 2017, 00:23   #2017
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KONG - Skull Island...

I read the reviews, but decided to watch it anyway
Many armchair critics said there were dozens of technical loopholes (which, to be fair there were)

however many said "take it for what it is" and I did (You know, like Independence day).

Anyway............

I enjoyed it, it was a fantasmagorical romp of gung-ho yanks and cleche's but at least Samuel L Jackson gets his come-uppance later in the movie.

Plot is a little weak and strays from the original "Kong" story, but it's been done to death anyway IMHO

4/5 from me, but I wouldn't pay for it (if you see what I mean) .
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Old 09 May 2017, 15:50   #2018
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Not watching movies, lately... and can't remember why....

I guess, getting old and senile is part of the problem.

Thanks for reviews... just a title makes me not wanting to watch it, not sure why. On the other hand, Ghost in the Shell really looks interesting.
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Old 09 May 2017, 20:55   #2019
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Quote:
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Not watching movies, lately... and can't remember why....
I guess, getting old and senile is part of the problem.
No I get it, I've been watching far less lately too. Not hard to imagine, the movies I'm looking forward to seeing right now are Fast 8, Alien: Covenant, Transformers 5, Guardians OT Galaxy 2, Pirates 5, Blade Runner 2049, Thor 3, Star Wars 8. Sequelitis and superhero shit.

And then Wonder Woman and Spider Man: Homecoming. More superhero shit. Jebus.

Its a good year for cinema and at the same time a really poor year for cinema
- just franchises, no art. Although Blade Runner is starting to look like it may actually be awesome.
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Old 14 May 2017, 23:00   #2020
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Speaking of another line of movies which just can't ever provide entertainment: game movies. In this case, Assassin's Creed.

You know they done goofed when the first game already has a lot more story than the movie. If this had been developed as a 10-12 episode television show, it would have probably been amazing. As it is, you get 1:40 minutes of pretty pictures mostly covering different parts of Spain, Michael Fassbender looking angry and Marion Cotillard just trying so hard to not have a French accent that she forgets to act. Oh yeah, and Jeremy Irons is in this thing too. Not that it matters.

Just. No. Story. None. They want the Apple of Eden, they built a machine which can make a person relive the past of a dead relative so they can locate where it was lost, they go get it. Its pretty much the core mechanic of the original game but just severely watered down with token pointless characters, zero backstory and absolutely no interesting lore development for inevitable sequel movies. The ending is the worst offense, it falls so flat it hurts to watch. No, I lie. The worst offense is that even though they stick some of the parcour stuff of the game into the movie, apparently the budget ran out when filming it so you either see it from far away, or you only see it half-finished. There is a leap of faith in the movie and it is an awesome thrill-ride right? Right? Wrong.

What a piece of shit. Beautiful shit because it shows some of the best parts of Spain, but shit nonetheless.

3/10.
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