[CodyJarrett]

I'm afraid that Corny is being a bit too cheerful about the launch (see http://apov.abime.net). We have actually received the following email:

Dear Denizens of the Underworld AKA APoV,

We represent the good, cleancut people of Pibble-On-The-Felch. As guardians of morality we write to you under a tumultuous cloud.

Your magazine is filth. My wife and I have spent many hours poring over every inch of its debauched content and been quite beside ourselves with tutting and head-shaking.

Not only does issue 2 of your disgusting (DISGUSTING!) publication have kleptomaniacal bears, insane frogs and lying kings, but it also contains 'fit chicks' in wet T-Shirt competitions. Yes! We enclose a picture as proof.

Furthermore, there are countless rude words: CAPS, as in "I put a cap in yo' ass, ho" and WHDLoad, as in hard drives, as in "Give it to me hard, baby" and that sort of filth.

This will not be tolerated. The founder of our good society, Great Aunt Nellie, would be most perturbed. She brought us up properly and taught us loyalty. Now I want you to remember that. I also want you to remember that if you don't clean up your act, Nellie will turn in her grave, and, likely as not, jump right out of it and kick your teeth in.

Yours sincerely,
Mrs. Wilberforce

P.S. If you could return the picture of the young lady, we'd be most grateful. You scum.