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Old 26 June 2013, 16:08   #140
Rob 1
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Stafford/UK
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Originally Posted by dlfrsilver View Post
for instance, my opinion is that my father had the choice. bipolarity can have severe issues if the patient is not taking exactly his medics AS specified by his doctor.

You can't deal this illness if you drink. when his doctor told my father to stop drink and then be treated he said NO ! i won't stop drinking.

Fact is bipolar medics are incompatible with alcohol (you'll get very serious health problem), so my dad has finally 'played' with his medics, the result is know : he went in a delirious state, leading to paranoia, aggressiveness and illness deny. His behaviour then went out of the way.
Very bad self destructive tendencies, which you or any one else are powerless to do anything about.

Originally Posted by dlfrsilver View Post
Morality of this story, i can't forgive him, because he had solutions. he had the choice between the illness, and a normal life by taking his pills.
You shouldn't ever have to forgive him if you don't want to, he's taken more than just material possessions, he's taken a part of who you are and changed your perception of him forever.

Originally Posted by dlfrsilver View Post

He choosed the illness. The result is a house destroyed, i have lost 40000 euros+, and now the family mood is bad between each members.

How much your father was in control of his drinking and medication at the time this happened we just don't know, but it was his choice to allow it to spiral in the first place to get to that extreme.

Originally Posted by dlfrsilver View Post

My mother is always saying that material is nothing. Fact is you can't find 40000 bucks in a horse step. and i'm mostly sure i won't get them back.

Material possessions aren't nothing, they are time, effort and hard work to achieve.

They are less than a human life I agree, but they aren't nothing (it's not black and white but 50 shades of grey) and can't be ignored, plus that was your family home not just a empty house.

In a horse step? that's a new one for me???

Originally Posted by dlfrsilver View Post
They are all in emotion (stockholm syndrom), while i'm not.

" oh bless him he knows not what he does "

hmm maybe not at that time, but before that debatable.

Originally Posted by dlfrsilver View Post

To get the best view on all this, i have made researches on what bipolarity is, how it works, and so on.

Bipolarity is an organic illness, which if not treated by medics can lead the subject to suffer from mental illnesses like paranoia, agressiveness, and the 3 cases are : they can kill (paranoia), they can sexual assault (inability to control pulsions), and they can be pyromaniacs. My father is in the 3rd category.

Well if you had a choice you got the better of the 3....

Originally Posted by dlfrsilver View Post

Fact is also that doctors and medecine know that the illness has an organic root. but they don't know how and where, and the causes which lead to it. The only answer are medics, and only medics.

so my family says 'but it's your father' and i answer he is, but what he did was a criminal act. He has allowed his illness to let him do what he did.

He wasn't your father that day but your father allowed that monster to manifest himself.

What if he had of killed or raped someone would they still be saying 'but it's your father' then? It seems their line in the sand is further away than yours but believe me they will have a line too.

Originally Posted by dlfrsilver View Post

it's like someone who knows he has 'aids', and contaminates someone and finally says 'yes i know i have aids' and the contaminated person ask then 'why did you do that to me?" and that the guy with aids answers 'i was ill, but i desesperately wanted to fuck, sorry......'

What a beautiful metaphor

but you are right your father has wronged you and you for now (and maybe forever) will not forgive him. You want to wash your hands of him, which I think you are entirly with in your rights to do.

Never say never, one day your dad may totally redeem himself to you and prove he is worthy of being your father, but for now I think you are totally with in your rights to have a type of divorce from him.

I'd suggest if the rest of your family want to feel sorry for your Dad and want to forgive him, let them. That's their choice you can't change it for them. If you want to wash your hands of him and end your relationship with him, do it. They should respect your choice too. This shouldn't come between you and them and you should be able to carry on your relationship with them agreeing to disagree.

You and your father are both adults you’re not dependent on each other, I'd just say to your folks I no longer want anything to do with him. If you want to support, visit, love and deal with him that's your choice and I respect that, but you must respect my decision to "divorce" him for what he has done to me both materialistically and emotionally.

I can understand why you'd want to do that I often thought about "getting out" of the situation with my mother but she did take the medicine and didn't drink, but they were far from a miracle cure and she still had some very bad patches. The drugs seem to knock her about too which probably aided in her premature death, but if she hadn't have taken them she wouldn't have had much of a life.

Luckily my mother never took anything to the extreme your father did (she did do some fucked up thing though) so I can’t comment on if I’d do the same, but I can sympathise with your position totally.
Originally Posted by dlfrsilver View Post

I like to play ambermoon actually

I'm a Super Cars 2 man at the moment

Originally Posted by dlfrsilver View Post

my collection was not covered, since it would had cost me an arm to insurance all these.

I think it will be covered under his house and contents insurance he'd have to had for any remaining mortgage he might have, the problem will be proving its worth.

Write a list of your contents in the house and find out how much a like for like item would cost you on E-bay or anywhere (keep the evidence) and send this to the insurance stating you're making a claim for it's value.

so long as individual items aren't over a certain $1000 amount they should be covered even if you have to fight them for it.

Wow that's a long message
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