Im making an educated guess here.... myst works for worlds worst webhost (tm)?
Firstly :Not much of the internet uses php?
Which internet are you on? its not the same as the one I use where near enough every site I visit uses php, every forum used php in some form. Even basic webpages now use php..
Apache IS NOT "dedicated handler" of anything, Apache is a web server. "Handling" of PHP is done by one of Apache's modules and that's it.
Ok, so apache doesnt hadle it, but one of its modules does, isnt this like saying a car doesnt need fuel, but its fuel pump does?
And regarding calling someone an idiot, theres plenty of proof that they are idiots in this thread, and he obviously knows what he's talking about because... They run the site, if he didnt, the site wouldnt of been running for years.