Well, that pretty much sums up all the things you could do wrong when doing a webpage..
Horrible to look at, Useless animations and gadgets wasting bandwidth, background looked like someone threw up when saw the site, annoying tune, no design concept or color coordination... ad infinitum
But there are still some things he missed...
Non-working links (always good to have, so the page doesn't look so empty)
An outdated millenium clock/counter (hello! the millenium was already 2 years ago
Pictures of the persons ugly face (in which he by the way looked like someone beat the crap out of him with a 2x4 just before taking the picture)
And finally, to top it all off, Calling yourself with a name that REALLY doesn't do justice to the real thing.. (in this case, the famous Captain Kirk from the Star Trek fandom)
-end of rant-