Hi Belgarath. It is nice to hear from you again because as i am sure i can speak for all of us, that we are very concerned about how you are dealing with all this. So i am glad you are taking our offer of help because you most deservedly need it.
You would never take any of those years back my friend, and very few of us in life ever experience the level of love you had, so take solace in that fact and please accept all of our future help. You cannot do this alone.
Please look after yourself Belg.